“You’ll catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar” was a frequent refrain in my undergraduate program in secondary education. I assumed “honey” meant just being nice.  At that time I had learned much about teaching pedagogy and ways to continually engage students in the teaching material, but as I went on to teach junior high school, it seemed there was something missing. It wasn’t until I later became a therapist and went to graduate school that I understood the “honey” needed is more than kindness.  I believe that the best way to help students learn as students and as developing adults is by being person-centered through balancing high academic expectations, collaboration, and mercy.

I believe students are capable of learning course material in a way that enhances how they see the world.  In the undergraduate counseling class I teach, I encourage students to examine how the content they learn applies to them in their personal lives and their future careers.  I don’t want them just reciting words from the book, I want them applying it.  When being an assigned lecturer in one of my graduate classes, I avoided the black and white perspective of the assigned topic of academic dishonesty and instead facilitated a discussion about systemic issues that contribute to college cheating to better understand how we as instructors can create a larger systemic change to reduce the need to cheat in our classroom. In almost every lesson, I believe we can think outside the box to open our students mind to their potential.  To reach that potential requires students to be challenged and work hard.  When a few students failed to complete an essay according to the assignment instructions, I gave them a choice to re-do it for near full points, or to receive a failing grade on the assignment because I knew they could do better.  Most chose to re-do the assignment with gratitude.

Collaboration is a primary principle of my teaching.  As I have taught undergraduate students online for the past year, there were several unique needs and circumstances to work with students on to help them achieve success despite those obstacles.  For instance, one student missed several weeks of class due to medical issues.  In his decision on whether or not to drop the class upon recovering, we met and came up with new deadlines for his assignments.  I urged him to continue to advocate for himself and to keep communicating with me on his ongoing needs in our course.  Later when he finally turned assignments in past his agreed upon deadlines, I continued to collaborate with him by having him propose appropriate late penalties for his late work according to his judgement of his capacity effort in his personal circumstances.  I never lessened the work he needed to do, but I did make sure success was within his reach through the deadline accommodations.  Other similar situations have occurred in my class when life crises come up, and for most students, they have chosen to continue in my course even as they drop all other college classes, due to my collaborative nature of meeting them where they are at and helping them reach their potential in and out of class. 

Experiencing the power of collaboration has also led me to examine my use of power in the classroom.  I used to see my power as an instructor as a tool to execute judgement on my students—grading them, evaluating them, seeing who lived up to expectations.  Now my views are much different.  I acknowledge the power I have in the classroom but choose to use it in a way to empower and lift my students.  Working with students needing help, I am in a better position to be a giver of mercy instead of a giver of judgement.  One of my favorite parts about teaching is to see a student learn to self-advocate and succeed despite their limitations. My teaching philosophy is a direct result of the work I do as a therapist, where I believe that everyone is worthy of unconditional positive regard and that we all need more help and less condemnation. This not only is a therapeutic value of mine, but also personal and academic, as I have seen students work so much harder when they have someone who believes in them and cares more about their well-being than deadlines.

It may be easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar, but when it comes to helping students catch the joys of learning and growth, I believe that high expectations combined with collaboration and mercy are just the ticket for the hope of the future, and as an instructor, I get to be the facilitator and partner with them on that journey.